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Showing posts from March, 2017

Dinosaur Jr.

I was standing behind a man wearing a Smashing Pumpkins t-shirt. On the back were a list of tour dates and cities from the Mellon Collie and The Infinite Sadness tour that took place in 1995. He looked young. I was born in 1985. I was nine years old when Kurt Cobain killed himself, on my birthday (April 5) I would later learn. This seemed significant to me. It still does.
It was now March 22, 2017, and the ‘90s were most certainly alive in this music hall. There was a mixed gathering of flannel and facial hair waiting for Dinosaur Jr. to come on stage. I had bought a ticket because I knew it would be an important show. It would be important for me to finally hear “Freak Scene” live. I did and then suddenly I realized it was 11 p.m. I found myself leaving the show early to go to Taco Bell so I could have something to eat while taking a bath before going to bed.
I walked into Headliners Music Hall as the opening act Easy Action were half way through their set. I immediately felt like an …

Bad Habit

“You think too much.”
I will never forget the way he said those words to me. His ability to make me feel less than human was his super power.
His back was turned away from me as he began to undress. I was standing alone in the bedroom of someone’s parent's house wondering if what he said was true.
Twenty minutes earlier I watched a teenage girl come out of the bathroom with her boyfriend.
“You ever do coke?” she asked.
“No…” I said as if in slow motion.
“Good, it’s a bad habit,” she said.
My bourbon and ginger was flat and almost empty. I made another drink, waiting for him to get back from the store. I walked outside with the couple so they could smoke cigarettes and I could sit by the dying fire.
“So, how do you know him?” the girl asked me.
“We met in high school,” I said. “I used to go see his band play.”
“Oh ok, so are you two…?”
“We’re just...friends,” I said, with an ounce of hesitation.
We’ve never been ‘just friends,’ I thought. But there wasn’t a conversational diagnosis for whateve…