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Showing posts from February, 2017

Ten

Jackson He drove a red truck. I was a senior in high school. He was older and stilled lived at home with his parents. The first time we did it, he wouldn’t take off his shirt. The second time, the phone rang. He stopped and picked it up to look at the caller ID. He didn’t answer. I thought that was nice.
Jeremy We met for the first time in person at a greasy 24-hour diner. He had long eyelashes and pale blue eyes. I was still living at home. We mostly hung out in his dorm room. We used to rent adult films and fall asleep. I was convinced he was the one.
Patrick He was in a band when I was in high school. I had wanted him to notice me. When he finally did, I wished he hadn’t. Even from hundreds of miles away, he knew what he could do. This went on for years. I blocked his number last year.
David He was from a small town and would drive to come see me. He liked heavy metal and The Eagles. That should have been a sign right away. We would end things over coffee and eggs at a Waffle House. I ch…

The Same Bed

He doesn’t know I’m awake and that I’m thinking about his hair. His oil black hair and how my hands would feel running through it.
When our toes met underneath the covers I feel my body whimper. I have an urge to gently move my cold body towards his, but this goes unseen and remains useless in the black light of the hour. I wait for my heart beat, moving quietly without skipping a beat as if expecting her to speak.
His snoring sends waves swimming through my spine. I toss and turn. I feel my mouth smile. My eyes shut tight as if trying to making sense of how we got here.
I tell myself we are just two people sleeping in the same bed. And then I wonder when it becomes more than that.
If I thought to move my body closer to his and wrap my arm around his stomach, I also thought his body might push me away. As if everything I touch immediately turns to sand.
If he is dreaming, I wonder what he is dreaming about. I am laying still, wishing for heavy eyes. I dream of nothing.
There are dog sounds…