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Showing posts from December, 2016

There Must Be Something Wrong With Me*

*formerly titled Say Anything
“We have to find a way to make you less afraid of me.” I didn’t know how to respond. I felt my heart drop, and let the weight continue to sink. We were standing in the kitchen making dinner, both of us barefoot. I was leaning in the doorway as if I couldn’t step any closer. He had finished cooking the chicken and moved over to sauté the greens. I was staring at his black shirt, wishing I had the courage to stand behind him with my arms around his body. That’s what normal women would do, I told myself. There must be something wrong with me. I don’t have anything to say. I grabbed a couple plates from his cabinets. When I turned around to hand them to him, he was there. We briefly embraced and he kisses me. It felt reassuring. My hand went under his shirt and I let it slide softly across his stomach. He pushes back laughing because he is ticklish. I smile because in this moment I was myself. We let go and put some food on our plates. In the living room we sat …

Difficult Information

This was in January. I was bar hopping with a friend when he approached me. I was wearing a black dress with purple and gold fishnet stockings. We had met before, knew a lot of the same people. We were hitting it off and after a couple drinks, we decided to go dancing. He followed my friend and me to the next bar and one thing led to another. He asked for my number at the end of the night. I was surprised when he texted the next day. We saw each other casually a handful of times throughout the next few weeks. It was reassuring to know my heart could still beat the way it used to.               It was late on a Tuesday night in February when I got his text. I hadn’t heard from him all night when suddenly, I have herpes. My ex-wife didn’t get it and hopefully you won’t either. I wondered how to approach this. It would be the first time I would have to expose my secret. Even though I hadn’t even so much as kissed this guy I didn’t question the timing of this message. Since I’m…