Posts

Showing posts from February, 2016

New Years Day

We went out the night before. I wore a sequence dress with purple and gold fishnet stockings and my great-grandmother’s cowboy boots. I told him he had to kiss me at midnight. That’s the last thing I remember.
The morning light was cold and grey. The world outside was quiet and rude. We rarely saw each other on Sundays. I woke up next to him, tucked myself into his warmth and felt happy.
Just as quickly as I woke up, it was time for him to leave. I remember the way it felt when he left. He gave me a hug and knew when he let go I was going to fall apart. I closed the door and listened to him walk down the steps.
The weight of loneliness dragged in the air and pushed me to the floor. I felt the breath of the New Year holding me down. It occurred to me that I had never needed someone like this before. But what I wanted I couldn’t say. I wanted to be a part of his life.
He called me an hour later but I didn’t answer. He tried calling again and I turned off my phone. I tried to hide it but …