Showing posts from April, 2013


“You made me so sad,” he said.
This was my art professor in college.
I could feel my toes crinkling inside my boots. I noticed the shapes of the foam on top of the beer inside my cup. I can’t remember how old I am.
“I made you sad?” I asked. “Why?”
“Because you didn’t believe in your self.”

dancing on my own

As of two weeks ago, I am 28 years old. I’m laying in a bed with someone for the first time in over a year. The light from his laptop is distracting. His back is turned to me.
I lay straight and still, hoping he forgets I am here. We are not wearing clothes, but nothing will happen.
He puts on a movie and immediately starts to snore. There is no way I am going to sleep tonight. I turn my back to his and feel nothing.
I feel nothing and then suddenly a sneak snuggle attack. His leg wrapped around my body as if he knew I was want to leave. My anxiety began to burn through my pupils and burn holes in the wall. The bed was made of quicksand.
The first time I remember checking my phone, it was after 1:30 in the morning. I have nothing but time on my hands and so I start to remember this guy from college. I remember the way he used to make me feel.I remember visiting him in D.C. six or seven years ago. We left a party many beers later and I woke up to his back towards me as he’s watching L…