There's Nothing Wrong With Being Alone

Confession: I’ve never been able to trust anyone who can’t be alone. It’s never made much sense to me. The first movie I saw by myself was Jim Jarmusch’s Coffee and Cigarettes, which came out in 2003. The same year I graduated from high school. Being able to take myself to the movies made me feel full of possibilities. What can’t I do for myself? In college, I began taking myself out to lunch or dinner, typically accompanied by a book I was reading at the time. Chuck Klosterman and I became very close.
Truth: There is a popular question in Louisville, Kentucky: Where did you go to high school? We live in a city that refuses to give up the ghosts of hallways past.
Confession: I’ve always loved popular culture, especially the television shows or movies that center around a group or ‘gang’ of friends. Dawson’s Creek. The OC. Gossip Girl. Friends.The Big Chill. I have spent some quality time in these worlds because I’ve always wanted to know what attracts me to this dynamic.
Truth: We all…

How to Lose Your Virginity

It is your senior year of high school. Become friends with the guy your best friend is dating. Your friend graduated early and is currently in her first semester in college an hour and a half away. Drive to Indiana to pick up this guy, who is three years older and doesn’t have a car. You’re driving him to see your friend because you think you want to see her. You’ll get to her dorm room and watch them embrace each other. You will sit awkwardly while they’re snuggling on her bed. Eventually, you step outside and sit by yourself on the concrete steps.
When they break up you will continue to talk to him on AOL Instant Messenger. You’ll discover that you’ve started to like each other. You’ll ask your friend for permission to date him, and she is surprisingly okay with it. She will ask you not to sleep with him. You tell her that hadn’t crossed your mind, that you want to wait. In three months, you no longer want to wait.
Your best friend will call you one day after school and she will tel…

Die Hard

(This is a drunk movie review of Die Hard.)

8:37 pm Before I press play, there are two things you should know. I’ve already had a bottle of wine. Secondly, saying I’ve never seen this movie before is true but it’s also kind of a lie. Let’s call it a half-truth. I rented this film some years ago with a boyfriend, and about ten minutes into the film, well, things got romantic. So, instead of watching Bruce Willis crawl around in an air duct I got laid. FAIR.
(side note: is it weird that I specifically remember asking my boyfriend to stop kissing me so I could watch Bruce Willis say “Yippie-Ki-Kay Motherfucker!”? We managed to CARY on quickly after that. Also, I miss that couch.)
8:55 pm Okay. It’s time to press play.
8:58 pm Is this why it’s a Christmas movie? Because there are lights inside of an office building? On Christmas Eve? Oh. Who has a holiday party on Christmas Eve? That’s just poor planning.
9:05 pm Oh, I’m sorry Bruce. Did your wife go back to her maiden name? She’s no Demi Moore.